Tour de Fun Update V (The one where I “accidentally” wreck part of the van, and discover my long-lost twin)

Here’s a recap of our recent hijinx, during which I’ll tally the scores of our daily trials:

-The show in Vancouver at Raw Canvas went really well, and I only suffered minor conniptions while driving through the downtown core, so that’s a personal victory. We made it out of Vancouver with all of our instruments and limbs, so I’m no longer afraid of the big city. Yokels: 1  Vancouver: 0 

-We rode the big overpriced boat over to Victoria, and only had to wait a mere 15 minutes to board, which on a long weekend I’m pretty sure can only be achieved through some sort of Wiccan-style dark sorcery. Twin Cans: 1  BC Ferries: $100

-Our show in Victoria at Solstice Cafe was especially fantastic as we were joined by world-class percussionist/cajonist and the extremely tastefully named Mitch Guindon. When the other Mitch and I met, we shared a moment about how terrible it was to play the Name Game in grade 1 due to our name rhyming with a female dog. It went something like this. After the show we shared a quick beverage with the proprietors of the cafe, and they showed us the magic of a good Jamaican patois. Fun times. Twin Cans: ❤   Solstice Cafe: A billionty thousand

-Yesterday as we were leaving Victoria to head up to Duncan, I “accidentally” mangled the driver’s side mirror on our trusty van, Samuel L. Vanson. I think this is the first time I’ve had a vehicular mishap since I was about 16, so the shame I’m currently feeling is very real and palpable.  Tall Cans: 0     ’99 Chev Astrovan: -1 mirror

-In Duncan we played at the magical Duncan Garage Showroom, operated by the larger than life living legend Longevity John. This is a really interesting venue, and should you find yourself anywhere on Vancouver Island, you should really make the effort to stop in for a show. I broke a string within the first few strums of my first song, and so the “Guitar Woes Tour of 2013” continues. Oh well, the crowd were really great and supportive, so I didn’t have to breakdown and weep loudly whilst violently rocking back and forth. Also, Longevity John gave us all Nose Whistles, which I’m sure won’t get annoying any time soon…   Shitty Guitars: 1   Tall Cans: FML

-I mentioned way way way back on the first tour update that I’ve been experiencing some difficulty with one of my ears making a rattling noise, and I’m sure you’re all in desperate need of closure on the anecdote, so here goes. A while back I ventured to a walk-in clinic to sort it out, and was disappointed to learn that it wasn’t a gigantic ball of wax, or a nest of spiders, but instead some sort of fluid in my crustacean tubes. At least I think that’s what they’re called. I have my own theory that it’s actually the remnants of my twin that I absorbed in utero, and it’s just a piece of skin with a tooth and an eyebrow rolling around in there. Yeah, that’s probably it.   Tall Cans: 0     Ear Troubles: Yep

We’re off to Saltspring Island now, and if we like it we might not ever come back.





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